I was wise enough to avoid films like Jack and Jill and Bucky Larson, but there were still a healthy handful of films that didn’t make the cut. I haven’t walked out of a movie in a while, but these five movies tested my strength.
5. The Sitter
I laughed twice in this movie. Once was because I found a joke slightly funny and felt obligated to laugh. The second time was a laugh of joy that the movie was over and I could leave. The Sitter is a boring, sometimes offensive adventure into joyless territory. As a big fan of Jonah Hill, I was sorely disappointed.
4. Columbiana
Columbiana is a ridiculously over-the-top action flick that totally lost my interest 15 minutes in. In a scene that had everyone in my showing snickering, a young girl promises her uncle that she will go to school in exchange for training to become an assassin. The action sequences are barely entertaining and a ridiculous script can’t make up for a sexy leading lady.
3. Battle: Los Angeles
If I had a penny for every time this movie entertained me, I’d be broke.
2. Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Point of advice to future screenwriters: don’t fall in love with your first draft. If Michael Bay had employed such a philosophy with Dark of the Moon, maybe we would have had a more engaging first half that was devoid of painfully unfunny performances by John Malkovich, Ken Jeong, and Frances McDormand. Instead, we get an uneventful movie where the actions scenes would have been more impressive had the rest of the movie not been so uninspired.
1. Your Highness
The second film of David Gordon Green’s to appear on this list, Your Highness is one of the worst films I’ve seen in a very, very long time. I’m all for crude humor, but only if its funny. There isn’t a single moment in this movie that even comes close to well-executed humor. There aren’t enough negative adjectives to describe this movie. Just steer clear of it.
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